Losing Faith
by Garry is fighting for you
Summary: "Your name is KARKAT VANTAS and you're losing faith." (Humanstuck) (Rated 'M' just to be safe)


_Your name is KARKAT VANTAS and you're losing faith. _

~.~.~.~

It all started when you were born. You were born into a very faithful family, with an older brother and loving parents. Your parents soon passed away in a car crash, leaving you and your brother alone.

You were only four, he was only fifteen.

~.~.~.~

At the age of five, you were adopted by your church's priest. A good friend of your dead parents, he had filled out the needed paperwork and taken yourself and your brother in.

Everything was good for the next year, but when you turned seven, things turned bad.

You had woken up one night to yelling. You crawled out of your bed, and sneaked down the hall. The yelling was getting louder as you approached the kitchen. You peeked through the door frame, staying hidden. What you saw inside, you didn't understand.

You brother was kneeling on the floor, a hand over his cheek, as if he had been hit. Your adoptive 'father' stood over him, looking angrier than you have ever seen him. His hand was raised, as if he were about to hit again.

"This is unacceptable!" He yelled, staring down at your kneeling brother. "You are not a queer! Goddamit it Kankri, you are not gay. That is a sin! I will not allow it!"

You had no idea what any of that meant, but you continued to watch. You had no idea why, and you would never find out why.

Your eyes were glued to Kankri, waiting for his response. Tears were now flowing down his cheeks. He started to stand up, his knees shaking. He was muttering something, but you were too far away to make out the words. Whatever it was, your father did not like it. He hit Kankri again, sending him back to the floor.

"Do you think this is a joke!?"

Kankri laid on the floor, not moving, not speaking. You had to watch him closely to make sure he was still breathing.

You wanted to run out to him, to help him. But you couldn't. You seemed glued to your spot, your voice stuck in your throat. You could only watch as you brother was beat senseless.

You must have made a noise at one part, for your father looked over in your direction. You down the hall, suddenly, not wanting to get caught.

You pressed your ear to the wall, not wanting to miss anything. All you heard was shuffling, a few gruff orders, and then weak footsteps coming your way. You ran and hid in the bathroom, watching the figure walk by.

It was your brother, KANKRI VANTAS. His face was bleeding, bruised, and stained with tears. You watched as he limped to his room, and once you heard his door shut you ran straight to yours.

Hot tears ran down your face, and you had no idea why.

.~.~.~.

Years passed. You were now thirteen. You were now living with your brother, who was now twenty-four. You were living with him, and only him.

Four years ago, Kankri was kicked out of the house after bringing a male home with him, and announcing that he was his boyfriend. Your adoptive father had gotten pissed, and kicked Kankri out. Not wanting to loose your last blood-related family member, you followed him. You had lived with him ever since. It was mostly just you two in the house, but sometimes Kankri's boyfriend, Cronus, would come and visit.

He was there today.

Today... you remember it as a horrible day.

Only a few hours ago you had gotten a call. The church had burned down, your old adoptive father, who lived above the church, was dead.

The three of you sat on the couch. You were leaning against Kankri, using his lap as a pillow. He was running his fingers through your hair with one hand, and holding onto Cronus' hand with the other. You all just sat there, in silence. No one was able to say a word.

And that's how the day went.

~.~.~.~

Twenty-one. They say that everything goes well in your twenty-first year. For one thing, you're finally able to drink. Another thing: You finally got your first girlfriend.

Her name was TEREZI PYROPE. You met her at the age of fourteen, yet didn't start dating until you were fifteen. It was your sixth year anniversary as a couple. You wanted to celebrate in a romantic way that included her, you, and a motel room.

Everything seemed perfect, as you arrived and swooped her out of the car, carrying her bridal style. You set her down at the door, and reached into your pocket for the key. After a minute of searching you remembered you forgot it in the car, which was on the opposite side of the parking lot. You told her to wait a minute, before giving her a quick kiss then running off to your car. While you were digging through your car for the key, you heard a sound that made your heart stop.

A gunshot.

And it sounded too close for comfort.

Bad thoughts clouded into your mind as you quickly jumped out of your car, too much in a rush to shut the door. You rushed to the outside of your room, but stopped dead in your tracks.

The thoughts in your mind had come true.

Terezi lay there on the ground, a pool of blood surrounding her.

She was gone.

You screamed.

.~.~.~.~

Your name is KARKAT VANTAS. You are thirty-eight years old. You are married to NEPETA LEIJON.

You have three kids, but there were supposed to be five. A miscarriage of twins that occurred a year ago. It was enough to drive you into a deep depression. One that seemed incurable.

Your name is KARKAT VANTAS, and through out all the things that happened in your life, you have finally lost faith.


End file.
